Saturday, 20 June 2015

Barry White

I noticed two lizards on our wall staring at each other from a distance of about a metre. I decided I was witnessing some kind of Romeo Juliet moment, each lizard desperate to be entwined in the lizardy body of the other but neither having the guts to make the first move. We've all been there, except not with lizards. Some of us with lizards perhaps. I'm not here to judge, just as long as you take precautions.
10 minutes passed and nothing happened so I decided to help things along by putting my speaker outside and playing some Barry White music to oil the cogs of lizard love (Good name for a band). To my surprise they responded. It turned out that they weren't engaging in a mating ritual, what I was witnessing was an aggressive stare down over a piece of turf and I watched on, helpless, as a gruesome battle to the death ensued to the sound of 'You're my first, my last, my everything'.

"Is that a tail on your ass or are you just pleased to see me? Oh, it's a tail. Totally cool with that."

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