There was a spider the size of a terrifyingly large spider in the bathroom. It was lying on its side. At first I thought it might be dead, but when I got closer I could hear it snoring.
The general rule when faced with something as frightening and as potentially dangerous as this is to poke it with a stick. I poked it with a stick and it heaved itself onto its feet and scuttled out of the door. A few seconds later I heard the sound of a car starting up outside. No doubt it had overslept and was late for work. Things are bigger in France.