Wednesday, 10 February 2016


I bought a beer making machine. It's part of my plan to become a millionaire in France. The French have never heard of beer, you see. Thus, I realised that if I could make beer they would worship me as a GOD.
I've been staring at the beer making machine all winter and so far it has failed to produce any beer whatsoever. At first I thought it was the wrong season. Maybe it needs pollination from the bees I thought. WRONG! I have finally discovered how it works. You pour in several bottles of your favourite beer, swirl for several seconds and pour out into glasses. It's not quite as good as the real thing, but it's remarkably close.